Best Nine

Sometimes the most profound moments of life are the ones that go unnoticed. While many reflect on the past year sharing their best “9” on social media, I wonder — perhaps our true, “best” moments are the ones that don’t garner likes or comments. Perhaps instead they fly under the radar — unchecked and unapplauded.

While the noteworthy moments — the big promotion at work, the engagement, the wedding, the pregnancy, the dream home, the dream career, the perfect family, the financial security — are worthy of joy and gratitude, not everyone ticks all the boxes at all the socially acceptable times. Not everyone gets recognition. Not everyone gets lucky.

What if this year you got separated? Got a divorce? Got cancer? Lost your job? Lost sight of your dreams? Went bankrupt? Gave up your home? Lost the love of your life? Are still waiting for the love of your life? Lost hope of having children? Lost confidence that you’re raising your children the best you know how? Lost a loved one? Lost the will to live?

As my friend with stage IV cancer told me recently, fuck the boxes. Because while the lovely milestones are worth celebrating, I would wager to say that our best moments are not in the pretty, shiny applaud-worthy events but rather in the waiting, in the pain, in the longing, in the questioning, in the loneliness, in the struggle, in the perseverance, in the quiet kind of bravery of putting one foot in front of the other each and every day — of being present, of being vulnerable, of being real.

We all deserve to see our dreams realized. Maybe this was that kind of year for you. And if so, hold on to that amazing high! Hold on to that joy! Consider yourself extraordinarily lucky. But if this wasn't your best year — if this wasn’t even your best decade — remember your worth. Remember your beauty. Remember your strength. Remember that it’s these moments — this season — that will shape your heart in ways that nothing else ever could. It’s these moments of your life that will help someone else navigate their own personal season of darkness — because you’ve already been there, and you understand, and you can walk with them. And that, my dear friend, is something worth celebrating.

Beautiful

Remember your beauty.
Remember your worth.
Remember that you mean something.
That the world is a brighter place with you in it.

If you feel that you are broken, know that I am broken too. If we were all honest with ourselves and with each other, we'd realize that we are all broken in some way. All the pretty masks we wear won't hide it. Perhaps it's time we stop hiding it.

I know the weight you carry is lonely and painful and devastating at times, and the darkness feels as if it might swallow you whole if you just stopped for a second to let yourself truly feel. But there is beauty in your fight. There's a fierceness in your will to survive. There is brilliant, blinding light on the other side of midnight, just waiting to break through, waiting to save you.

So if you are so buried in the pain that you can't see a safe way through it, if you feel like you're not good enough, not worthy enough, not strong enough -- let these words ring out like an anthem in your soul:

You are beautiful.
You are beautiful.
You are beautiful.

You are too beautiful to lose. 

Self-Care Days

Every day should be a self-care day.
We get so busy.
We forget that our hearts and souls need rest.
We forget to stop and breathe.
To delight in the little things.

Sunshine.
Friendship.
Nature.
Small, unexpected surprises.
Pets and people who love unconditionally.

We forget to hurt and to heal.
To let ourselves feel and process and think.
To allow ourselves to give up and to begin again.
To simply be okay with our existence in this universe,
With the chaotic craziness of it all.
With change, and loss, and new realities.

Always remembering grace.
Always reminding ourselves
That love is fuel,
And we burn brighter and stronger
When we pour into ourselves and in each other.

Hold Tight

I feel a tiredness in my soul today. The world is just messy and sad and hard. Now more than ever we need to hold onto the people who truly see us in all shades of light, in all shades of night. People who we don’t have to question will be there when we need them the most. Not in theory or in well-intended clichés, but on the ground, in the trenches – with us. People who see our flaws and adore us despite those flaws. People who celebrate our uniqueness and hold a mirror to our souls when we start to doubt the value we bring to the world.

I want to be that person --- that fights like hell for you when you can’t see your way clear of the madness. That sees you, and knows you, and reminds you of the best version of yourself. And I want you to be that person for me. Because without love, without true, gritty connection, we are all just hollowed out beings walking through a wasteland without purpose and without hope. And this kind of existence was never our dream. It was never meant to be our future. So if you happen to find those few who defy this fate, hold tight – hold tight and never let go.

Fierce

You are so much more
Than what you see,
Than what I see.

You are fierce.
You are a blazing, roaring fire
In a city of ashes,
Amidst a sea of flickering flames
Slowly surrendering to the shadows of night.

Refuse to let the wounds define you.
Refuse to let the wounded extinguish you.
Refuse to be tamed.
To dwindle down into a meagre, burnt-out coal.

Find a way to fuel your flame when no one else remembers to,
When no one else has the capacity to,
When your very being abandons you.

Because the world needs the light that burns within your soul.
The world needs the love that swells inside your bones.
The world needs you --
Your passion,
Your vision,
Your full and fathomless heart.