Who can be the judge of individual loss? And the weight it has on you? Maybe your loss seems inconsequential to others, but to you, it's a part of your world gone missing, sometimes for good. And no one can really judge the impact that has on you. So allow yourself to think, to feel, to cry – at least for a little while.
The hard part about letting go is the emptiness you feel when you do – the feeling of losing your grasp on everything you felt was so real and vital in your life. In the aftermath, you may find yourself lost, without strength to even leave your bed. But that's ok. Because you will need time to just lie there and let the pain seep in – to let the sadness and emptiness wash over you. That's all part of the process. Don’t be in a hurry to find your feet – you will, eventually.
In a way, I think you always knew that a small part of you needed to go, to break free and move forward. But sometimes, the thing you have to break free from is the very thing you held so dear. Perhaps it’s the only thing you've ever known, or the only thing you’ve ever hoped for. You don't want to let go; but at the same time, you know you have no choice. Leaving isn't always an act of selfishness. Sometimes it's just self-preservation, knowing that the best thing for yourself and for the situation is for you to let go. And to be let go of. Except that underneath that knowledge, the truth is that all you really want to do is stay. So you say, “Let me go.” But you feel, “Don't let me go.”
And that's the brilliant sadness in it.