Remember

Remember who you are.
Remember how far you’ve come.
Remember the stars
In all their brilliance –
In their constant companionship
On the darkest, coldest midnights.
Remember the moon,
How it glows for you.
To guide you,
To remind you,
That light is always present, 
Even when you cannot see it.
Remember the sun –
How it rises every single day, 
Of every single month,
Of every single year.
How it rises with promise,
And hope, and warmth.
These are just a few
Of a million quiet reminders
That you are not alone in this universe.
That your path holds purpose.
That your story is a work of art,
Still unfolding, and evolving,
And becoming more and more beautiful,
So remember who you are.
Remember how far you’ve come –
And how far you’ve yet to go.

New Year

To be fearless is nothing at all. I think this past year taught me that fearlessness and boldness are two very different things. Boldness is not the absence of fear – but perseverance in spite of your fears. By all accounts, my successes at times could be considered by many as less than noteworthy. But this thing we call life was never about trophy or triumph. To be fearless requires nothing. To be bold requires everything. I’ve felt a little beaten down, a little wounded, a little tired. I’ve scolded myself for being too idealistic. For opening my heart. For holding onto dreams that drift further away with each passing year. But I’m still here. I’m still here. And that has to count for something. Perhaps it counts for a good many somethings. If our successes are not measured by what we can achieve but in our ability to give everything we’ve got, even on the days we’ve got very little to give, then I have succeeded far beyond my expectations. 

Outside my window, the tiniest flakes of snow swirl and dance. The earth is still. Covered in white. And all I know is that I’m still the girl who believes in possibilities. In beauty, and love, and breathtaking light. I’m still the girl who is so far from fearless but embraces boldness. What that will require of me I can’t know. Maybe this new year is my denouement, and the scenes of my story so far will finally make sense. Maybe not. But I can’t focus on that. All I have right now is this tiny fraction of time, this flicker, this hushed wind. And I’m not looking back. I’m not offering my best 9 moments, but rather I’m offering this one, solitary moment – and then I’m moving forward. Fearful, and hopeful, and fully alive.
 

Shared Stories

We all have a story. Fears. Hurts. Wounds. Losses. Things that hold us back, and keep us guarded, and wreck our hearts. The holidays can be rough for that reason. But I am reminded of the Christmas story. And whether or not you believe in the Christmas story or celebrate the holidays in your own way, it's still a great story. That the would be King of our world would come to Earth and have no where to go -- no celebratory gathering, no extended family visiting, no home. The entire Christmas holiday is based on one refugee's story.

When I think of that, I am reminded that we all come into this season carrying something. But despite our burdens or our circumstances, we all have something to give to each other. Even if it's just a smile. Kindness. Eyes that may struggle to see but strive to sympathize. Hearts that are willing to shine a little bit of light into someone else's life whenever possible. I fail at that most days. I fail at all of it. But this season, as complicated as it can be at times, is all about light. And love. And hope. And in that shared message -- in that shared story -- we can all find belonging.

All Those Small Moments

I love this quote from the film We Bought A Zoo where the character Benjamin Mee says: “You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” As with anything as unpredictable as life, I’ve had moments where I’ve been brave before, and the story didn’t pan out how I thought it would. It’s easy to recoil after those moments and vow to never let your idealist heart be so recklessly bold again. But every good story has those moments. Every good story requires those moments. So maybe, if you keep putting yourself out there, keep taking one small step at a time, you’ll look back one day and realize it was all those small moments – of defeat, and of triumph – that got you where you are.

Owning Our Stories

These struggles do not define you. You are not your illness. Not your weakness. Not your brokenness. Not your scars. And though these things all shape you, they do not define you. You are much more than that. 

Believe in your story. Fight for your story. It's worth it. Even on the darkest days when you feel like no one is left standing next to you, it is worth it. Someone out there needs you to speak when they cannot. Someone out there needs to read your words. Someone out there needs you to stand beside them and say, I'll fight for you and with you. I cannot promise that in owning our story we won't ever know darkness again. But I can promise that you are not alone. I am not alone. We are not alone. 

All of us - the brave, the broken, the hopeful, the hopeless - all of us are part of something much bigger than we know or see. Our community is in each other, and our currency is love.