Measuring Sticks

While it would be easy to look at the past year and judge what you have accomplished or what you have not accomplished — to hold a measuring stick to your life and see if you finally measure up, you would be doing a disservice to your story to do so.

The dreams and longings and desires in your heart will not cease to exist — and you will cycle through hope and despair more times than you'd like to in these seasons of waiting. But you can’t judge a year by its joys or by its accolades. Because it may be another year or another 10 before you can show us that beautiful thing, that beautiful achievement, that beautiful person, that beautiful dream.

Instead, take pride in the fact that you are still here. In your incredibly complicated journey. You are here. Still hoping and holding and fighting and breathing. Still loving. Still dreaming. Still taking chances. Despite time, setbacks, pain, grief, and disappointment — despite the stars not aligning and no so called happy ending in sight.

I hope you always remember these moments — even if better moments lie ahead. Even if you end up with a year where your heart is so full of happiness that it might actually burst at the weight of it. Even then — I hope you remember.

This was the time that you secretly shined. Even if no one else sees it or understands it but you. These years, these decades in the fire, these past and present lives, have all shaped you into who you are becoming and who you have always been meant to be.

Christmas Wishes

For those of you who aren’t where you thought you’d be this Christmas —

For those of you who’ve had to put a brave face on —

For those of you who didn’t get the happy ending or the fairytale beginning —

For those of you who had to take many deep breaths to get through this season while others had no idea you were even struggling for oxygen —

For those of you who carried yourselves with a grace far beyond what anyone else could muster had they been in your shoes —

I see you.

You are not alone.

You are braver than you think.

You are loved more than you know.

Wishing you a year ahead that is truly

Merry + bright —

In every prayer hoped for,

And in every dream imagined.

Self-Care Days

Every day should be a self-care day.
We get so busy.
We forget that our hearts and souls need rest.
We forget to stop and breathe.
To delight in the little things.

Sunshine.
Friendship.
Nature.
Small, unexpected surprises.
Pets and people who love unconditionally.

We forget to hurt and to heal.
To let ourselves feel and process and think.
To allow ourselves to give up and to begin again.
To simply be okay with our existence in this universe,
With the chaotic craziness of it all.
With change, and loss, and new realities.

Always remembering grace.
Always reminding ourselves
That love is fuel,
And we burn brighter and stronger
When we pour into ourselves and in each other.

Birthday Revelations

None of our lives are perfect. None of us have arrived. What we don't often see in the day to day of cliché conversations and social media shares are the things we miss. The people we miss. The hard days. The broken days. The days where we wonder if any of this life stuff is worth it. The days where our dreams seem infinitely impossible.

But we hold onto the moments. The seconds. The brief breaths that sustain us until the next -- the next second of inspiration, of connection, of hope. We hold on, and we remind ourselves that beauty is often found in the seemingly insignificant snapshots of our lives. In the grit, and the grain, and the grace of it all.

Winter

I am drawn to contrasts. To the desert and the desolate. To the cold, frozen tundra. For even in the desert, brilliant species of cacti thrive. Even in an Icelandic winter, emerald moss sprawls itself on the rugged terrain and grass emerges beneath the snow and ice. Waves crash on the frozen, rocky shores, and the mountains sparkle with dustings of powdered sugar snow against periwinkle skies.

Winter can be harsh, but life emerges despite its harshness. If things were always warm and pleasant and easy, I would never know what it’s like to be challenged. To die and be reborn. To face my utter weaknesses and yet be surprised by my secret strengths.

So I embrace you, winter. I embrace you — understanding that you, my dear familiar winter, may not always give way to spring. But I will try to hold on to the little things. How the crispness of your air reminds me that blood flows through my veins. How you welcome the sun’s warmth, just as summer does. And how you show me over and over again that life not only persists, but thrives, under your brilliantly bright cloak of white.