Best Nine

Sometimes the most profound moments of life are the ones that go unnoticed. While many reflect on the past year sharing their best “9” on social media, I wonder — perhaps our true, “best” moments are the ones that don’t garner likes or comments. Perhaps instead they fly under the radar — unchecked and unapplauded.

While the noteworthy moments — the big promotion at work, the engagement, the wedding, the pregnancy, the dream home, the dream career, the perfect family, the financial security — are worthy of joy and gratitude, not everyone ticks all the boxes at all the socially acceptable times. Not everyone gets recognition. Not everyone gets lucky.

What if this year you got separated? Got a divorce? Got cancer? Lost your job? Lost sight of your dreams? Went bankrupt? Gave up your home? Lost the love of your life? Are still waiting for the love of your life? Lost hope of having children? Lost confidence that you’re raising your children the best you know how? Lost a loved one? Lost the will to live?

As my friend with stage IV cancer told me recently, fuck the boxes. Because while the lovely milestones are worth celebrating, I would wager to say that our best moments are not in the pretty, shiny applaud-worthy events but rather in the waiting, in the pain, in the longing, in the questioning, in the loneliness, in the struggle, in the perseverance, in the quiet kind of bravery of putting one foot in front of the other each and every day — of being present, of being vulnerable, of being real.

We all deserve to see our dreams realized. Maybe this was that kind of year for you. And if so, hold on to that amazing high! Hold on to that joy! Consider yourself extraordinarily lucky. But if this wasn't your best year — if this wasn’t even your best decade — remember your worth. Remember your beauty. Remember your strength. Remember that it’s these moments — this season — that will shape your heart in ways that nothing else ever could. It’s these moments of your life that will help someone else navigate their own personal season of darkness — because you’ve already been there, and you understand, and you can walk with them. And that, my dear friend, is something worth celebrating.

To You, With Love

We all have wounds. We’ve all experienced giant, gaping holes in our hearts and lost pieces of ourselves along the way. But what matters is if we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable again to show and share all our sides – to trust that someone out there can accept and care for us in both our beauty and our shame, in our raging light and in the absence of our flame. 

Life is hard. Complicated. Unpredictable. Things don’t always go as we plan. We can get hurt, and we can hurt each other. As humans who are completely flawed in a world filled with brokenness and pain, this is inevitable sometimes. But we have to go on, to move forward, to let go, and let ourselves off the hook sometimes. Because there is still joy to be found. There is still hope. And magic. And light. Always remember that. And remember, accept, and believe that you are enough.