The Idealist

You blame yourself. You blame your big, bold idealist heart. You grew up with grand dreams and lofty expectations, but you didn’t plan on the difficult moments. As a child, you couldn’t foresee the heartbreaks, the disappointments, the emptiness. You couldn’t identify your predisposition to feel things so intensely or understand your sensitive, artistic nature. You couldn’t recognize the beauty in it just as much as you couldn’t anticipate the challenges.

You learned to roll with the punches. You bounced back from every move. You pushed aside the things that hurt you. But with each roll and bounce and push, your once wild, open, childlike heart with its big dreams and bigger hopes grew a little bit darker, sullied by invalidation and loss of things you could never put a name to. With that harsh reality came acceptance that everything you'd hoped for might be out of reach for someone like you.

And yet, through all the things that could have broken you, that did break you, that might still break you, the idealist fights to hold on. And every now and then, when your guard is down, the idealist whispers -- inspiring you, and reminding you that happiness is possible, dreams are reachable, and love is against all odds entirely attainable.

Open Your Eyes

Inspiration is everywhere. Remember that. Look for beauty in the small details. Even when rain threatens, notice the beauty in the chaos of the storm, just like you notice it in the steadfast warmth of the sun's rays on a bluebird day. Open your eyes. Breathe it all in. This is your life -- all crazy and chaotic and yet full of vibrance and mystery and wonder.

Feelings

You're allowed to acknowledge your feelings. You're allowed to feel them intensely at times -- and to feel weighed down by that intensity. But that sensitivity to feel so deeply, as difficult as it is, is also a gift -- perhaps your own private superpower. The trick is learning to harness that gift so it’s instrumental for good. So it touches people. So it changes lives.

Exposed

I've always said being open and vulnerable is the only way to be. In a sense, I think it's the only way I know how to be. Apart from my constant persistence at hiding, a part of me wants to be exposed. I feel that exposing yourself forces you to face who you are - and with that comes acceptance. And with acceptance comes healing. At least, that is my hope. Perhaps there is someone out there in a world beyond my immediate reach who is searching for affirmation to know they are not alone. That their struggle is important. That there is hope. And commonality. Even if it's from a post by someone they've never met.

I am tired of wondering if certain people will get offended by certain things. Of worrying if I've said too much. Of hiding who I am. I'm tired of stigmas, judgments, and molds that I refuse to fit into. I'm tired of the pressure to keep myself in a neat little package so I look pretty to everyone. Maybe if we all started being honest about ourselves, it wouldn't be such a radical occasion? Shouldn't honesty be what sets us apart? Shouldn't that be worth something?

I want to be real. I want my art to be real. I would rather sit in silence than censor myself. And if you're out there reading this - I challenge you to be bold with me. Let your voice be heard. Be free. Be yourself. There's no one else like you. Some of us may be broken, scarred, jaded, and complete wrecks at times. But you're still you. I'm still me. No one else can be us. We are beautiful and loved and unique. Knowing that, we should all be fighting like hell to embrace ourselves.

Love

Sometimes I have the crazy notion that perhaps love -- the good kind of love -- can ground you. The I want to climb mountains with you, watch sunsets with you, and binge watch shows on Netflix with you kind of love. The I could sit and talk about nothing with you and be perfectly content kind of love. The I can live without you but I sure as hell don't want to kind of love. Perhaps you are not longing for romance in the big Hollywood sense of the word; perhaps all you long for are the simple, small, ordinary pieces that come with sharing a spectacular life with someone who is also sharing their spectacular life with you.